The Next Survivor...

This is a great email sent to me from a listener:

The next Survivor Series will be about six married men dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for 6 weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music, dance, or swim lessons.
There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient stop per child as well, possibly for a bathroom break or even an emergency-room visit.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails and toenails polished and eyebrows groomed, spray tan, wax when necessary, and find time to exercise.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once slow down from their duties.

They must hold down a job, attend PTO meetings and find time at least once a week to spend the afternoon at the park with the kids.

They will need to read a book a night, or more, to the kids and in the morning feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7 a.m.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size, and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear, and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote the dads off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

The winner gets to play the game over and over again for the next 18 - 25 years eventually earning the right to be called "Mother".