Disciplining The Kids

Here are some positive discipline ideas from the experts when you have trouble getting your child to listen:

1. Avoid at all costs saying "No, No, No, No, No. Yes." This just teaches children to hold out to get their way. So does putting up with crying until we can't stand it and then giving in.

2. Stop what you are doing and go to your child. Put down the phone, stop the car, ask the hundred shoppers behind you to wait, or come out of the shower dripping wet in a towel and covered in soap. When you stop what you are doing and go to your child, you are acknowledging the inapporpriate behavior when it happens and correcting your child immediately follwing their actions.

3. Speak to your child at eye-level. Get down on your knees, lean over, or sit on the floor together.

4. Validate your child's feelings. When your child has misbehaved, let him know that you understand or you are trying to understand how he feels. Validate his emotions or intentions. "I know you wanted that toy, but your brother was playing with it." Speak in a normal tone of voice.

5. When you are upset with your child, try not to yell or raise your voice. Use a positive, firm, natural tone of voice. Explain to your child in simple terms what he did wrong. He may not know.

6. Redirect your child. Guide your child to a new activity. "You can build with blocks. But you can't play with blocks if you throw them. You can throw a ball instead."

7. When your young child is having a tantrum, remember that he is still learning to control his emotions and actions. I'm sure there have been several occasions when you wanted to lay down at the checkout aisle of the supermarket and kick and scream.

8. Don't beat yourself up when you voilate all of these guidelines. Perfect parenting is rare. Do the best you can and don't give up.