Lou asked a panel of his male co-worker friends, most of whom are married or in committed relationships, how they think it's best to breach the topic of "Honey, there's something we need to talk about" so that it doesn't sound like the wife/girlfriend is getting ready to yell at him or make him feel 'wrong' about something. Here's what the guys say are good ways to approach "the talk":
5. Make it matter-of-fact instead of dramatic. Don't resort to histrionics or crying or get all serious like "we must sit here with no interruptions, or cry and say "let me finish" if the guy interrupts.
4. Ask the guy's opinion on how the problem can be solved so he doesn't think you already have your mind made up on how this is gonna go down.
3. Start with a positive. Compliment your man on something he did RIGHT or does WELL before getting into a problem you have with the way he is.
2. Establish a reward. Tell your man that if he does THIS for you, you'll give him THAT, or do SUCH AND SUCH for him.
1. Do it in an email or note. Then maybe you'll both have a chance to express yourselves prior to a sit-down conversation, paving the way for a smoother meeting of the minds once you DO have the talk.
My question to you, girlfriends, is what do you think of the mens' ideas? Please feel free to respond at louandliz@943thepoint.com. Do you have your own ideas on the best way to approach a conversation that you're dreading? What's YOUR advice to the men on how it should be handled?
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