What Should We Feel Guilty About?

I just read a great article in e family news from Bright Horizons about parental guilt called "What Should We Feel Guilty About?"

It says we should NOT feel guilty when:

- We go to work
- We go to the gym or out for a walk or run
- We want some time for ourselves. Being a good parent doesn't mean not having a life. In fact all of the above may make us better parents and role models for our children
- Our children get a few bumps and bruises -- physical and emotional. If children don't get to fall down, how will they learn to pick themselves up?

We SHOULD feel guilty when we:
- Don't make time for our children. They don't need all of our time or time-on-demand, but children need ample amounts of our time throughout childhood. Sending a child to an enrichment experience is not equal to having that child spend time with us.
- Are not fully there when we do make time. If we don't turn off the cell phone or Blackberry the time is diminished. It's very sad to see a parent continue to talk on their cell phone after a brief smile to their child and the teacher when picking up their kid from school or daycare.
- Give in and don't stick by 'no'. We all say 'no, no, no, yes' and give in occasionally, but making it a habit doesn't do anyone any favors.
- Put the tv in the child's room and the dvd player in the car. If children don't develop the capacity to amuse themselves, to read, and to have conversations, it could be a huge developmental loss.

DO: See the world through your kids' eyes.Be positive with high expectations because low expectations lead to self-fulfilling prophecies.Be realistic in your parenting based on an understanding of your child.Be optimistic and give your children an optimistic view of life.Be the parent you want to be and the person you want to be and give yourself credit when you are doing your best. Guilt isn't bad if it's realistic and motivates you to try and be the best parent that you can be. All you can do is try. You won't be perfect and your children won't be perfect. Parents should relax and try their best.