Play Date Advice

Advice for Planning Play Dates, from family experts:

1. Choose a location that allows for active play, so that the kids don't have to sit and be quiet. A home or park is a good place to start, rather than a movie, show, or book store.

2. Limit the number of children. The more kids, the greater the noise and chance of squabbling.

3. Check assumptions with the other parents. Many moms and dads have different opinions about supervision, appropriate activities, and what's acceptable to snack on. Parents also differ on discipline and acceptable words and activities.

4. Schedule only an hour or two for the play date. This gives them adequate time to warm up to each other and play. After more than an hour even the children who are best at sharing can tire of it.

5. Put away special toys before the playmates arrive. These are the toys that you know your child will not want to share.

6. Have multiples of the 'cool' toys. Toys that have multiple units, like trains, blocks, instruments, tool sets, or stuffed animals can help alleviate arguments over who gets to have the toy.

7. Establish a sick policy. If runny noses aren't welcome, make that clear when you set up the play date.

8. Let children play at their own pace. Accept that some children may choose to play independently.

9. Supervise closely, but stand back. Try to let kids work out their differences themselves as long as they aren't hurting each other. Don't jump in at the first sign of trouble. If the conflict escalates, step in calmly and coach the kids on coming up with a compromise or move them to another activity.

10. Have a simple project ready in case you need to switch gears, like making hot chocolate or having story time.

11. Give an ample good-bye warning. The old five-minute warning helps with a smooth transition. Give a longer warning if you want everyone to help clean up