Relationships To Avoid

After much controversy on our show, here is the 'official' list from the 'experts' on the types of relationships to avoid:

1. Rebound relationships: If one of the partners has very recently ended a relationship then he or she is still dealing with the fallout and pain from the break up and can't give the current relationship the care and feeding it needs to succeed.

2. Jailbreak relationships: Where one of the partners either moves in with or marries a partner right after he or she leaves his or her parent's home for the first time. There needs to be an adjustment to the 'adult' way of living before a relationship can prosper.

3. Pedestal relationships: If you put your partner on a pedestal, you probably question your own self-worth. the balance of power is messed up and the relationship will be out of whack.

4. Broken Wing Relationships: If one of the partners is emotionally fragile or wounded it becomes the other partner's responsibility to come to the rescue. This makes for an unbalanced relationship that is doomed to fail.

5. Shallow relationships: There are many superficial reasons why we become infatuated with another person: money, beauty, fame, talent, shock value....These qualities can never substitute for important stuff like inner beauty, core values, and a healthy sense of self.

6. Affairs: Cheaters are liable to hurt the feelings of their current partner and/or their affair partner. And you may always have trouble trusting them.

Keeping The Kids Demands Down

Here are some ways to keep your kids from demanding more and more:

1. Educate your kids about tv commercials and how somebody might be trying to convince them to buy something they don't need and may not even want.

2. Encourage values in your kids both by spending more time with them (not more money on them) and by focusing on helping others who have less.

3. Challenge your children's definition of 'cool' by asking them questions about whether they ever felt bad about themselves for not owning something, or if they've ever felt friends might like them more if they had something new.

Good Deeds Have Their Rewards

One of our loyal listeners is beaming with pride about her daughter, so I thought I'd pass along our congratulations as well.Monica Murphy, an 8th grader from Spring Lake Heights, was invited to an event called "Kidfetti" to speak to 10,000 people about her community service projects. As an added bonus, she got to meet American Idol's Jordan Sparks, who was performing at the event as well! Esther Murphy, Monica's mom, is a proud parent and encourages her daughter to give to the community. Monica takes part in a canned food drive at Spring Lake Heights Elementary School, helps collect donations for the Boys and Girls Club, Trinity Church, and many senior centers in the area, and has spearheaded many, many more events that give back to our community. Her mom has every right to be so proud of her! Monica is an inspiration and a great role model!

Proper Egg Boiling

The American Egg Board says many of us haven't been properly hard-boiling our eggs. So, in time for Easter, here is what they say is the proper recipe:

1. Place the eggs in a saucepan large enough to hold them in a single layer. Add COLD water to cover the eggs by one inch. Heat over high heat JUST TO BOILING.
2. REMOVE FROM BURNER. Cover pan. Let the eggs stand in the hot water for about 18 minutes for extra large eggs, 15 minutes for large eggs, or 12 minutes for medium eggs.
3. Cool completely under cold running water or in a bowl of ice water.

Ways to help with weight loss:

Whenever you have a drink, make it water.
Drink water only.
No diet soda, no juices, no coffee, etc.
Cut your portions.
Don't skip breakfast.
Keep a food journal so you can look back and see exactly what you've put in your mouth and to see your patterns of grabbing food on the run or in stressful moments.
If you can avoid it, don't eat after 7pm.
Don't eat fast food.
Limit sugar and wheat-based products.
No diet or fat-free food.
Those foods contain a lot of ingredients that you can't even pronounce.
Eat slowly and chew your food well.
Eat when you're hungry.
Not because you're sad, mad, tired, or stressed.
Limit your red meat.
Don't eat foods that have a 10 year shelf life.
Go for the real, fresh stuff.
Don't snack yourself to weight gain.
Eat meals that are satisfying, not snack foods that will give you a sugar high followed by a crash.

Finding Inner Peace

In these stressful days, here are some ideas for meditating:

1. Choose a room that feels good and that has a chair or a comfortable place to sit that's peaceful, safe, and inviting. If possible, use the same location and sitting position every time. You want to create a sense of strong association so that this scene becomes a trigger in your mind's eye. With enough practice, you'll be able to immediately quiet and center yourself just by thinking of this space.

2. Play quiet, gentle music. Anything that helps you relax and get centered. Or medidate outside and listen to the sounds of nature.

3. Get into a meditative posture: Sit comfortably with your spine straight, feet flat on the floor, palms up. This will help you visualize.

4. Count to ten as you begin to quiet and center yourself. Inhale and exhale deeply as you count.

5. Give your breath color and shape. For example, green = healing, blue = peace, etc.

6. Follow your breath on its travels. Picture your breath journeying through your body, through every organ, limb, vertebrae, muscle, and tissue. Picture it flowing through your bloodstream. See yourself feeling good.

7. Find your mantra. Something like "I'm feeling more peaceful." Or, " I am grateful for my health and loved ones." Say it over and over in your mind.

8. Begin with gratitude. Be certain to give thanks for your blessings, which include your family and friends. Gratitude is a higher state of consciousness, so be very generous in reminding yourself of your life's blessings.

9. Love is the key. Imagine your whole body being filled up with love. Not romantic love, but pure, unconditional love - the kind you would feel for a baby or a puppy. If you would like to forgive someone, consciusly fill your heart with feelings of love and warmth for that person. Then visualize yourself putting that energy of love to good use in your life.

10. State your intention. After about ten or fifteen minutes of breathing, you will feel an inner shift of consciousness. Then, state your intention, perhaps "I want to love myself unconditionally", or, "I want to be joyful and at peace today."

The Life Of Your Appliance

With things the way they are right now, so many of us are hoping that we get a few more years out of the stuff we have. The National Association of Home Builders has compiled life-cycle data from product manufacturers and lab tests to estimate what you can expect from these items:

Gas ranges - 15 years
Dryers and refrigerators - 13 years
Compactors - 6 years
Dishwashers - 9 years
Microwaves - 9 years
Marble countertops - 20 years
All natural wood flooring - 100 years
Marble, slate, and granite flooring - 100 years if maintained
Vinyl floors - up to 50 years
Linoleum - 25 years
Carpet - 8 - 10 years (with maintenance and normal traffic)
Furnace - 15 - 20 years
Heat pumps - 16 years
Air conditioning units - 10 - 15 years
Electric or gas water heater - 10 years
Interior and exterior paints - 15 years
Slate, copper, and clay/concrete roofs - over 50 years
Roofs made of asphalt shingles - 20 years
Roofs made of fiber cement shingles - 25 years
Roofs made of wood shakes - 30 years
Exteror wood shutters - 20 years, depending on weather conditions
Gutters made of copper - 50 years
Gutters made of aluminum - 20 years
Aluminum windows - 15 - 20 years
Wooden windows - 30 years or more