The Husband Store

I received this from a girlfriend of mine, and it's so true that I thought I'd share it: The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City,where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at theentrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and thevalue of the product increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

The second floor sign reads:Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Lookingand Help With Housework."

Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous,Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and thesign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women areimpossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Please leave the building.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also opened a NewWives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Late For Work

It's been years since this has happened to me, but I was late for work today! And all I wanted to do was argue with Lou about how there's NO WAY that could've happened! I set my alarms the same way I always do, so it's simply IMPOSSIBLE that I could've overslept! My alarm simply didn't go off (or I didn't hear it) and my backup alarm time was wrong.....which has NEVER happened! By the time I finished arguing with Lou about how I couldn't possibly be LATE FOR WORK, I could've actually been up and in my car! The funny thing is, instead of just saying "Oh, I'm so sorry!" I chose to lay in bed and argue about how I COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE WRONG!!! Even half asleep, I feel like I can always find a way to make myself right!

Halloween Is 30 Days Away

Here we go with the Halloween stuff again. The boys were so excited to see the costumes in the store that I finally gave in and let them pick out their costumes this weekend. Now they don't want to take them off. I spent the weekend running errands and shopping with Spiderman and Mr. Incredible. And I couldn't figure out why people were doing double-takes because I became so used to seeing them that way! Now my biggest worry is keeping those costumes free of stains and rips between now and Halloween. With my luck, they'll need new costumes by the end of the month. But at least they're enjoying themselves. And why not extend the holiday and let them enjoy the WHOLE month of October? After all, that's what Lou Russo is already doing for HIS birthday month!

Lou's Wedding Review

Now that he's back and we've discussed it live on the air, I can tell you that Lou and Diane's wedding was just perfect. Diane looked like a princess and Lou looked very handsome in his tux. Both of their families are amazing and I can now see why Lou turned out as good as he did! The reception overflowed with love and laughter, enough to make even the most cynical person believe in love again. Did I mention Diane was the most beautiful bride I've ever seen? What a wonderful couple they make. I'm so touched that I got to be there for their 'forever' moment.

Jury Duty's Not So Bad

I got my third summons for jury duty this summer......and immediately got angry that it fell on my birthday. My second thought was 'How can I get out of this?' After all, I was able to get out of it the first two times. This time I didn't qualify for any of the excuses to get out so I made my way to the Monmouth County Courthouse and began a two week adventure that was nothing short of inspiring. I learned so much and felt like an integral part of our community. After the eye-opening experience I got from serving as a juror, I now highly recommend that the next time you get a notice to serve on a jury, you LOOK FORWARD to a great learning opportunity and a chance to help someone in need by being part of a decision that could change the future of someone's life.

Mallomars Are Here!

A couple of things happen in early fall...some good, some bad. The bad: just when you think the bug season is over, MORE honeybees, SWARMS of mosquitoes near the beach and lakes (at least near the lakes with no fountains) and now the crickets are invading, too. Yuck. On the plus side....there's one GOOD thing that comes back at this time of year....MALLOMARS! Head to any grocery store to see those beautiful boxes on display. The chocolate-melting season is almost over, and SWARMS of mallomars have taken over the store shelves just waiting to enter your child's lunchbox...after all, you wouldn't dare get them for YOURSELF now, would you?!

Liz On The Cover

Just wanted to let all the fans of the Point Morning Show know that the fall issue of Prime Woman Magazine is now out. You can pick it up at any Monmouth County Barnes & Noble, or at numerous businesses throughout the county....just keep your eyes out for it now that you know it's in print! I'm on the cover, along with Lou(!), and there's a great article about our show and behind-the-scenes stuff, too. And I'm so glad they did a sidebar on the Monmouth County Child Advocacy Center. Ladies....this is a great magazine for girly-stuff! Enjoy!