Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Keeping A Couple Together
Researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love. A couple's age and previous relationships are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last. The study tracked 2500 couples to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated. It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25. Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage - either from a privous relationship or in the same relationship - having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage. Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce. Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16% of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband - not the wife - was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Mistakes Men Make With Women
Mistakes Men Make With Women (from the author of "The Truth About Love, and How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It):
Mistake Number One: Not Listening. It's the number one complaint women have about their partners. Women get a dopamine hit and build bonds through conversation. The average man doesn't get that same high. Men don't understand that women talk to connect.
Mistake Number Two: Not Offering Help. When a woman wants help, she may not ask for it. A man may not understand that houswork and intimacy are very related. Seeing her man do housework can make him look very sexy to his woman.
Mistake Number Three: Thinking Men and Women are Alike. When men give, it's often based on what they want, not what their partner wants. From gifts to the bedroom, men should not assume their woman is just like they are.
Mistake Number Four: Misunderstanding the 'Silent Treatment'. Guys think they're being punished when their girl gives them the cold shoulder. In reality, the silence means she's hurt and can't speak. Men also have it wrong when the silence lingers and he believes the wound has healed, but when she's not talking at all, the relationship has gone from bad to worse. Men make the mistake of thinking that silence is a good sign, but she may be making an exit plan. The best thing a man can do is reach out with compassion and make the woman feel safe enough to express her real emotions.
Mistake Number Five: Failing to Communicate. It's a common complaint women have about men: Why won't he just TELL me what he's thinking? But men often don't verbalize what's obvious to them. However, when a man doesn't offer information, it sends the wrong message to the woman. Men can be much more successful with their woman if they explain themselves.
Mistake Number Six: Thinking that 'Physically Present Is Enough'. A man believes that if his body is in the house, it's a form of intimacy. Never mind that he's on the couch or on the computer in another room. but for a woman to feel close, a man must reach out physically, emotionally, or mentally. One of her senses has to be stimulated. Talk, listen, or touch her in some way.
Mistake Number Seven: Feeling Hurt By A Woman's distractions. For women, multi-tasking is second nature. If you want her full attention, hold her hand when talking to her. If a man is touching his woman in some way, he'll be the loudest thing in her environment.
Mistake Number Eight: Not Getting How Women Operate. DNA makes men and women navigate the world differently. They have a completely differenty orientation toward life. Prehistoric men (hunters) had to focus to capture prey. Nowadays a man can still screen out everything irrelevant to his task. He may notice the overflowing trash can or the socks on the floor, but he won't do anything about them if his focus is elsewhere.
In the end, though, the experts say our differences are valuable. We are meant to shore up each other's weaknesses.
Mistake Number One: Not Listening. It's the number one complaint women have about their partners. Women get a dopamine hit and build bonds through conversation. The average man doesn't get that same high. Men don't understand that women talk to connect.
Mistake Number Two: Not Offering Help. When a woman wants help, she may not ask for it. A man may not understand that houswork and intimacy are very related. Seeing her man do housework can make him look very sexy to his woman.
Mistake Number Three: Thinking Men and Women are Alike. When men give, it's often based on what they want, not what their partner wants. From gifts to the bedroom, men should not assume their woman is just like they are.
Mistake Number Four: Misunderstanding the 'Silent Treatment'. Guys think they're being punished when their girl gives them the cold shoulder. In reality, the silence means she's hurt and can't speak. Men also have it wrong when the silence lingers and he believes the wound has healed, but when she's not talking at all, the relationship has gone from bad to worse. Men make the mistake of thinking that silence is a good sign, but she may be making an exit plan. The best thing a man can do is reach out with compassion and make the woman feel safe enough to express her real emotions.
Mistake Number Five: Failing to Communicate. It's a common complaint women have about men: Why won't he just TELL me what he's thinking? But men often don't verbalize what's obvious to them. However, when a man doesn't offer information, it sends the wrong message to the woman. Men can be much more successful with their woman if they explain themselves.
Mistake Number Six: Thinking that 'Physically Present Is Enough'. A man believes that if his body is in the house, it's a form of intimacy. Never mind that he's on the couch or on the computer in another room. but for a woman to feel close, a man must reach out physically, emotionally, or mentally. One of her senses has to be stimulated. Talk, listen, or touch her in some way.
Mistake Number Seven: Feeling Hurt By A Woman's distractions. For women, multi-tasking is second nature. If you want her full attention, hold her hand when talking to her. If a man is touching his woman in some way, he'll be the loudest thing in her environment.
Mistake Number Eight: Not Getting How Women Operate. DNA makes men and women navigate the world differently. They have a completely differenty orientation toward life. Prehistoric men (hunters) had to focus to capture prey. Nowadays a man can still screen out everything irrelevant to his task. He may notice the overflowing trash can or the socks on the floor, but he won't do anything about them if his focus is elsewhere.
In the end, though, the experts say our differences are valuable. We are meant to shore up each other's weaknesses.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Interesting Sounding Places
The latest list of places with the most interesting-sounding names:
1. Wee Waa, Australia
2. Why, Arizona
3. Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, Alberta, Canada
4. Kissing, Germany
5. Try Again, South Africa6. Slime, Croatia
7. Roseberry Topping, England
8. Hell, Cayman Islands
1. Wee Waa, Australia
2. Why, Arizona
3. Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, Alberta, Canada
4. Kissing, Germany
5. Try Again, South Africa6. Slime, Croatia
7. Roseberry Topping, England
8. Hell, Cayman Islands
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Come See Me
I came across a cute website for when you wish a friend or loved one could just jump on a plane and fly to where you live. pleasevisitme.com is a travel invitation service where you just fill out a form with your info and your friend's info and they'll check prices for the best deals and email your friend the invitation and lowest price they find.
The site says it's not trying to be Orbitz or Expedia. They just want to have a simple, free service where you can invite friends that you miss to come visit you.
The site says it's not trying to be Orbitz or Expedia. They just want to have a simple, free service where you can invite friends that you miss to come visit you.
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