Monday, March 30, 2009

Relationships To Avoid

After much controversy on our show, here is the 'official' list from the 'experts' on the types of relationships to avoid:

1. Rebound relationships: If one of the partners has very recently ended a relationship then he or she is still dealing with the fallout and pain from the break up and can't give the current relationship the care and feeding it needs to succeed.

2. Jailbreak relationships: Where one of the partners either moves in with or marries a partner right after he or she leaves his or her parent's home for the first time. There needs to be an adjustment to the 'adult' way of living before a relationship can prosper.

3. Pedestal relationships: If you put your partner on a pedestal, you probably question your own self-worth. the balance of power is messed up and the relationship will be out of whack.

4. Broken Wing Relationships: If one of the partners is emotionally fragile or wounded it becomes the other partner's responsibility to come to the rescue. This makes for an unbalanced relationship that is doomed to fail.

5. Shallow relationships: There are many superficial reasons why we become infatuated with another person: money, beauty, fame, talent, shock value....These qualities can never substitute for important stuff like inner beauty, core values, and a healthy sense of self.

6. Affairs: Cheaters are liable to hurt the feelings of their current partner and/or their affair partner. And you may always have trouble trusting them.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Keeping The Kids Demands Down

Here are some ways to keep your kids from demanding more and more:

1. Educate your kids about tv commercials and how somebody might be trying to convince them to buy something they don't need and may not even want.

2. Encourage values in your kids both by spending more time with them (not more money on them) and by focusing on helping others who have less.

3. Challenge your children's definition of 'cool' by asking them questions about whether they ever felt bad about themselves for not owning something, or if they've ever felt friends might like them more if they had something new.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Good Deeds Have Their Rewards

One of our loyal listeners is beaming with pride about her daughter, so I thought I'd pass along our congratulations as well.Monica Murphy, an 8th grader from Spring Lake Heights, was invited to an event called "Kidfetti" to speak to 10,000 people about her community service projects. As an added bonus, she got to meet American Idol's Jordan Sparks, who was performing at the event as well! Esther Murphy, Monica's mom, is a proud parent and encourages her daughter to give to the community. Monica takes part in a canned food drive at Spring Lake Heights Elementary School, helps collect donations for the Boys and Girls Club, Trinity Church, and many senior centers in the area, and has spearheaded many, many more events that give back to our community. Her mom has every right to be so proud of her! Monica is an inspiration and a great role model!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Proper Egg Boiling

The American Egg Board says many of us haven't been properly hard-boiling our eggs. So, in time for Easter, here is what they say is the proper recipe:

1. Place the eggs in a saucepan large enough to hold them in a single layer. Add COLD water to cover the eggs by one inch. Heat over high heat JUST TO BOILING.
2. REMOVE FROM BURNER. Cover pan. Let the eggs stand in the hot water for about 18 minutes for extra large eggs, 15 minutes for large eggs, or 12 minutes for medium eggs.
3. Cool completely under cold running water or in a bowl of ice water.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ways to help with weight loss:

Whenever you have a drink, make it water.
Drink water only.
No diet soda, no juices, no coffee, etc.
Cut your portions.
Don't skip breakfast.
Keep a food journal so you can look back and see exactly what you've put in your mouth and to see your patterns of grabbing food on the run or in stressful moments.
If you can avoid it, don't eat after 7pm.
Don't eat fast food.
Limit sugar and wheat-based products.
No diet or fat-free food.
Those foods contain a lot of ingredients that you can't even pronounce.
Eat slowly and chew your food well.
Eat when you're hungry.
Not because you're sad, mad, tired, or stressed.
Limit your red meat.
Don't eat foods that have a 10 year shelf life.
Go for the real, fresh stuff.
Don't snack yourself to weight gain.
Eat meals that are satisfying, not snack foods that will give you a sugar high followed by a crash.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Finding Inner Peace

In these stressful days, here are some ideas for meditating:

1. Choose a room that feels good and that has a chair or a comfortable place to sit that's peaceful, safe, and inviting. If possible, use the same location and sitting position every time. You want to create a sense of strong association so that this scene becomes a trigger in your mind's eye. With enough practice, you'll be able to immediately quiet and center yourself just by thinking of this space.

2. Play quiet, gentle music. Anything that helps you relax and get centered. Or medidate outside and listen to the sounds of nature.

3. Get into a meditative posture: Sit comfortably with your spine straight, feet flat on the floor, palms up. This will help you visualize.

4. Count to ten as you begin to quiet and center yourself. Inhale and exhale deeply as you count.

5. Give your breath color and shape. For example, green = healing, blue = peace, etc.

6. Follow your breath on its travels. Picture your breath journeying through your body, through every organ, limb, vertebrae, muscle, and tissue. Picture it flowing through your bloodstream. See yourself feeling good.

7. Find your mantra. Something like "I'm feeling more peaceful." Or, " I am grateful for my health and loved ones." Say it over and over in your mind.

8. Begin with gratitude. Be certain to give thanks for your blessings, which include your family and friends. Gratitude is a higher state of consciousness, so be very generous in reminding yourself of your life's blessings.

9. Love is the key. Imagine your whole body being filled up with love. Not romantic love, but pure, unconditional love - the kind you would feel for a baby or a puppy. If you would like to forgive someone, consciusly fill your heart with feelings of love and warmth for that person. Then visualize yourself putting that energy of love to good use in your life.

10. State your intention. After about ten or fifteen minutes of breathing, you will feel an inner shift of consciousness. Then, state your intention, perhaps "I want to love myself unconditionally", or, "I want to be joyful and at peace today."

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Life Of Your Appliance

With things the way they are right now, so many of us are hoping that we get a few more years out of the stuff we have. The National Association of Home Builders has compiled life-cycle data from product manufacturers and lab tests to estimate what you can expect from these items:

Gas ranges - 15 years
Dryers and refrigerators - 13 years
Compactors - 6 years
Dishwashers - 9 years
Microwaves - 9 years
Marble countertops - 20 years
All natural wood flooring - 100 years
Marble, slate, and granite flooring - 100 years if maintained
Vinyl floors - up to 50 years
Linoleum - 25 years
Carpet - 8 - 10 years (with maintenance and normal traffic)
Furnace - 15 - 20 years
Heat pumps - 16 years
Air conditioning units - 10 - 15 years
Electric or gas water heater - 10 years
Interior and exterior paints - 15 years
Slate, copper, and clay/concrete roofs - over 50 years
Roofs made of asphalt shingles - 20 years
Roofs made of fiber cement shingles - 25 years
Roofs made of wood shakes - 30 years
Exteror wood shutters - 20 years, depending on weather conditions
Gutters made of copper - 50 years
Gutters made of aluminum - 20 years
Aluminum windows - 15 - 20 years
Wooden windows - 30 years or more

Friday, March 6, 2009

Disciplining The Kids

Here are some positive discipline ideas from the experts when you have trouble getting your child to listen:

1. Avoid at all costs saying "No, No, No, No, No. Yes." This just teaches children to hold out to get their way. So does putting up with crying until we can't stand it and then giving in.

2. Stop what you are doing and go to your child. Put down the phone, stop the car, ask the hundred shoppers behind you to wait, or come out of the shower dripping wet in a towel and covered in soap. When you stop what you are doing and go to your child, you are acknowledging the inapporpriate behavior when it happens and correcting your child immediately follwing their actions.

3. Speak to your child at eye-level. Get down on your knees, lean over, or sit on the floor together.

4. Validate your child's feelings. When your child has misbehaved, let him know that you understand or you are trying to understand how he feels. Validate his emotions or intentions. "I know you wanted that toy, but your brother was playing with it." Speak in a normal tone of voice.

5. When you are upset with your child, try not to yell or raise your voice. Use a positive, firm, natural tone of voice. Explain to your child in simple terms what he did wrong. He may not know.

6. Redirect your child. Guide your child to a new activity. "You can build with blocks. But you can't play with blocks if you throw them. You can throw a ball instead."

7. When your young child is having a tantrum, remember that he is still learning to control his emotions and actions. I'm sure there have been several occasions when you wanted to lay down at the checkout aisle of the supermarket and kick and scream.

8. Don't beat yourself up when you voilate all of these guidelines. Perfect parenting is rare. Do the best you can and don't give up.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Fun Horoscopes

Although I don't follow daily horoscopes, I found some of these descriptions to be eerily accurate! Just thought I'd share them for fun:

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): The Go-Getter. Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Holds grudges. Likes competition. Gets what they want.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): The Sweetheart. Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Eccentric personality.

Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): The Dreamer. Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Doesn't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser.

Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19). The Daredevil. Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse; easily angered. Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Loses interest quickly; easily bored. Egotistical. courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

Taurus (Apr. 20 - May 20): The Enduring one. Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm -hearted. Strong; has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Patient and reliable. Makes great friends and gives good advice. Loving and kind. Falls in love hard and passionately. Expresses themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper tantrums. Determined. Indulges themselves often. Very generous.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): The Chatterbox. Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable. But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): The Protector. Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): The Boss. Very organized. Needs order in their life. Likes being in control. Likes boundaries. Tends to take over everything. Bossy. Likes to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos.

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): The Perfectionist. Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): The Harmonizer. Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have their own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hate to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving. Flirtatious. Gives in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): The Intense One. Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talktative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): The Happy-Go-Lucky One. Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries aned gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Has lots of friends. Flirtatious. doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Picking A Summer Camp

Now's the time for sign-ups, so here are some tips for choosing summer day camps from a great article I read in e -family news:

Application process:

Does the camp have flexible schedules?
What are the hours of operation?
What are the camp's opening and closing dates?
What is the deadline for submitting applications?

Tuition and Fees:

What is the tuition and is there also a registration fee?
What is included in the tuition: transportation, meals, insurance, special trips, entrance fees, health services, use of equipment?
Ask the camp director to itemize any services for which an additional fee is required.
Is there also a membership fee?
Must the parent join the sponsoring organization in order for the child to participate?
How and when is tuition paid? By week, month, session?
Are scholarships available?

Children:

Are there methods for keeping track of each child and making sure every camper receives attention?
How will my child be grouped?
What activities does the camp offer in my child's age group?
What is the daily routine?
Are there enough activities to keep children involved, but also opportunities for quiet, down times?
Do children get to choose activities?
What takes place outdoors?
What takes place indoors?
Are there field trips, enrichment activities, or sports included?

Parent Involvement:

Are parents welcome at the camp anytime?
Are there opportunitits for parents to participate?
How does the camp receive parents' opinions, ideas, suggestions, and concerns?
Are there some parents I can call for references?

Staff:

How are camp counselors and other staff members hired?
What are their qualifications and experiences?
What background checks to they undergo?
What are the counselors' duties?
Are counselors hired for short periods or for the entire summer?
What is the ratio between staff and campers?
Is the staff knowledgeable, professional, enthusiastic, and caring?

Communication:

How can I receive information about what my child is doing?
What are the specific rules the kids must follow, and what are the consequences for not following those rules?
How am I informed if a child breaks the rules?

Environment:

Is the facility and outdoor environment safe and clean?
Is the environment inviting, exciting, and fun, but also warm and nurturing?
Are there adequate supplies and equipment?

Meals:

Are lunches provided by the camp? Ask for a sample menu in advance.
Are snacks provided during the day? What kind?
Are special meals available?

References:

Ask for references.

For more information and advice on choosing camps, visit:The American Camping AssociationThe National Camp Association